Have you heard the often-quoted verse: “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30)?
Perhaps you’ve understood this as a call to diminish yourself or make yourself small. While it’s true that we don’t want to exalt ourselves in selfish ways, this verse can sometimes lead us to "become less" in unhealthy ways, such as:
- Muting your own voice.
- Shying away from developing your talents.
- Denying the strengths you've been given.
The problem is hiding is not humility. Hiding your true self can lead to chronic self-doubt and feelings of invisibility in relationships. Like any passage from scripture, it’s critical to understand this verse in its historical context.
The person who spoke these words, John the Baptist, had a powerful ministry just as Jesus was launching his. In fact, some of John’s followers came to warn him that people were starting to leave John’s ministry to follow Jesus.
In that situation, John the Baptist had what psychologists refer to as "agency"—the ability to exert influence and act according to his wishes. If he had wanted to, John could have competed with Jesus to try to keep his followers. Instead, he chose to step aside and point his followers toward Jesus.
John used his power with integrity, considering what was truly best for the people who trusted him.
His choice demonstrated a humility that wasn’t about denying his gifts or influence but about harnessing them in service of a greater purpose. When John spoke about "becoming less," he was speaking out of a clear awareness of the power he held
Step Aside or Stand Strong?
Sometimes we are called to step aside so that someone else can step in. Other times, we're called to stand strong in our power, to lean into our calling, even if it ruffles the feathers of others.
However, it’s equally important to recognize when something other than ego is at play. Sometimes, fear of appearing self-centered can lead us to downplay our gifts, missing opportunities to use them for good. We might fear other people's judgment or criticism. We might fear failure or rejection. If you are diminishing yourself, hiding your light, or reluctant to use your talents, you might be mistaking humility for its counterfeit: self-doubt.
Self-doubt causes you to constantly second-guess yourself, leading to a downward spiral of people-pleasing and codependency.
The spiritual fruit of humility, on the other hand, goes hand in hand with confidence. True humility is a deep awareness of both your strengths and your limitations. It empowers you to love and lead others with integrity. True humility isn’t about shrinking; it’s about confidently stepping into the influence God has entrusted to you while keeping your heart aligned with his purposes.
If you're not sure whether God is nudging you to step aside or stand strong, consider the following questions:
- What am I afraid will happen if I stand strong?
- Am I stepping back because it’s what’s truly needed, or because I’m doubting my abilities or worth?
- Have I consulted wise counsel or trusted mentors who can offer perspective?
- Am I considering the well-being of others, or am I prioritizing my own preferences or insecurities?
- How will my choice contribute to healing, either by making space for others or by fully stepping into my own calling?
Ultimately, the choice to step aside or stand strong is an invitation to trust God’s leading and align your heart with his purpose. By reflecting on your motives and seeking his wisdom, you can move forward with humility and confidence, knowing that your actions honor God. Whether you’re called to create space for others or fully embrace your own gifts, you are part of a greater story of healing—both in your own life and in the lives of people you love.
